NAPPY - HEADED HOS

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline Saigon, the City of Hos Chin Minh)

BULLETIN: Brothers, let me tell you a sad story about a man who stuck his foot in his pie-ho. Not since Jimmy the Greek was ejected from the booth at CBS in 1988 when, on Martin Luther King's birthday, he said that blacks were better at sports because of slave plantation breeding techniques, has anyone ruffled the feathers (oops) I mean naps, of the Reverends Jackson and Sharpton, the co-commissioners of righteous indignation.

Don Imus, who claims to have many black friends, while rapping with his equally obnoxious producer, referred to the Rutger's woman's basketball team as "nappy-headed hos." To one unfamiliar with the rumble in the jungle of gangsta rap music, this might be considered a major insult to black women with short hair. Wrong! wrong! and most wrong, Snoop Doggy Dogg breath. It is my observation that these rapsters have little trouble recruiting willing napsters when they film their music videos. You have to give these rappers a break. Can you imagine how difficult it must be to enunciate the word "whore" while their napster hos are rubbing their behinds into homeboy's groin area. Small wonder that a dedicated rapster omit the w, r and e when he be rapsodomizing with some ho.

Etymologically speaking, the word "whore" was first used to describe the prostitutes who plied their trade in hotels; thus the evolution of the contraction "ho." As with sausage, it might be better to gloss over how it is made and just enjoy the taste.

Myself, I have not wasted much time watching or listening to Don Imus. I guess I never dug his ridiculous cowboy hat. I suspect his apology came more from his headpiece than his heart. As far as the Rutger's Scarlet Knights woman's basketball team, I hope that they never play in Ho Chin Minh City. I wouldn't want these gals to be called the Ho Chin Minh City Hos.

BLING, BLING AND OUT......THE DOCTOR

Easter Message

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline San Diego)

BULLETIN: As you probably remember from past Easters, I have always attempted to rise above the usual boundaries that ensnare most religious zealots during this holiest of Christian holidays. In communion with those who have perfected themselves by virtual cleansing rituals, that besides removing the flotsam from the soul, also provide an opening for the sun to shine in apertures heretofore closed to the light of day, I would like to move onward and upward.

As I gather my thoughts, I am reminded that such luminaries as Don Imus have always provided spiritual guidance and inspiration to the downtrodden of the world. Just this morning, while discussing the Rutger's University woman's basketball team that was runner-up to Tennessee in the NCAA finals, he referred to members of this predominately black team as "nappy headed hos." While this description might be colorful, I can understand why these woman feel that they have a lot more to offer than their hair style and sexual hospitality. I suppose I would feel the same if Rosie O'Donnell called me a "bald-headed pimp." Although half true, I have never profited from my lack of hair.

I guess my point is that while Snoop Doggy Dogg could say these things without raising an eyebrow of concern, Don Imus is held to another standard because he is a white trash talker. And while the liberal media overlooks inflammatory comments by a porcine lesbo, they want to hang the mischievous Imus from the nearest light pole. It's just not fair.

Happy Easter