Nancy Pelosi Denies Roll In Spitzergate

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline New York)

BULLETIN: Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi, today denied having a roll in the alleged tryst with beleaguered Governor Eliot Spitzer in the Mayflower Hotel. Pelosi, the daughter of Italian-American parents, was born in Baltimore, Maryland in 1940. The youngest of six children, she received a strict Catholic education, attending Trinity College and Georgetown University. Although considered a "real hottie" back in the wild 60's, the leggy, buxom brunette and now the highest ranked female in America, she now disavows any connection to the Emperor's Club VIP call girl network. Although some tabloids insist that faceless pictures of her scantily clad body were used to allure prospective Johns, her demure response was, "Not in a New York hotflash."

Although most media outlets decline to associate Spitzer with the Democratic Party, Pelosi makes no attempt to go this route. In fact, she insists that in San Francisco, Gov. Spitzer would rank next to Mayor Gavin Newsom as a roll model for married couples, both straight and gay. As for her support for Spitzer against the Republican's cry for impeachment, she said that although she regrets that Spitzer's wife and children have to suffer through this, that they should be aware that this will blow over, just as other vast far right conspiracies have in the past.