Weekend Morality Exam

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline San Diego)

BULLETIN: The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, USMC General Peter Pace recently opined that he though homesexual acts were immoral. With both Hillary Clinton and Senator Barack Obama stating that they disagree, I would like my readers to list the following disgusting acts in order of descending degree of immorality.

1. Cheating at golf.
2. Adultery with someone of your own sex.
3. Coveting your neighbor's sheep.
4. Married and having non-adulterous sex with a paunchy intern.
5. Lying about the above under oath.
6. Stealing the money of taxpayers.
7. Having no handed phone sex with a headphone on.
8. Adultery with someone of the opposite sex.
9. Suicide bombing for the right to defoliate 72 virgins.
10. Stuffing classified documents into your socks.
11. Leaving your favorite intern in a submerged car to seek help for yourself.
12. Drinking in order to forget all of the above.

I know that you will all do well. Keep the faith and have a nice weekend.

The DOCTOR