The Colonel Goes to Korea

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline Seoul)

BULLETIN: Now that McMuttleys has established a fido based foothold in Korea, it didn't take long for another USA based fastfood giant to enter the market. Yes, dedicated devotees, the Colonel has invaded Korea. With KFC (Korean Fryed Canine) now looking for restaurant sites in this purgatory for mutts, even the skinniest of canines is afraid to bark lest he(she) be grabbed by lurking dog nappers looking to score an easy buck.

Before I continue on that subject, I want to address what some devotee's describe as my fixation on sheep. Concomitant with that observation, it appears that some readers are blaming me for their bouts with insomnia because when they attempt to count sheep in order to induce sleep, they now are flooded with the images of lonely sheepherders looking for love in all the wrong places. Believe me, I am not saying that it is morally right. But until you spend six months herding sheep in areas so remote that your mind starts to play tricks on your libido, I would suggest you count more and complain less. Other than that, your thoughts and reflections on my perceived fixation have been well received by the editor.

BULLETIN REVISITED: I have been assured by North Korea President, Kim Jung IL, that he will never allow KFC in his country because they finished off the last dog more than 10 years ago when he instituted his infamous "bark no more" program. Will the last dog left standing please turn out the lights so my devotees can go to sleep.