The Three Stooges from Massachusetts

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline San Diego)

BULLETIN: It's very difficult, but not impossible, to forget that Massachusetts is the home of the Red Sox and the New England Patriots who have done very well this season. But the same state that produced Paul Revere and the Boston Tea Party has also produced the modern version of the Three Stooges; Johnny, Teddy and Barney.*

In their latest movie, "We're in a Quagmire" directed by Michael Moore, Johnny's line, "I'm trying to think, but nothing happens" makes Kerry appear much more intellectual than you would expect of a Yale graduate. However, Teddy, a Harvard grad, makes even Johnny look smart as he KNUK! KNUKS his way through a couple of double martinis. Then the eccentric looking Barney brings the audience to it's feet when he head butts both Johnny and Teddy with a double THONK! to their respective hat racks, WOOB! WOOBING as they pull his beak through a key hole.

Are these guys as dumb as they look? No question about it. DUMB, DUMMER ,and DUMMEST! The only ones dummer are the citizens they count on to re-elect them. Even after the successfull vote yesterday in Iraq, they are too dense to get it! In the pantheon of idiots only Barbara Boxer and Nancy Pelosi can challenge them, which shows you that Californians aren't that much smarter. And worse, we don't have the Red Sox and the Patriots.

Of special interest to BILLINGSGATE is Teddy boy. Just days before the election he tried to sandbag the President and the Iraqis by suggesting that we should begin an immediate troop PULL OUT. Here is a (man) who when he was a young senator with presidential aspirations back in 1969, swam ashore from his sunken Oldsmobile and left Mary Jo Kopechne to suffocate in the waters off Chappaquiddick Island. You talk about your PULL OUTS! Oh, and by the way, he reported the accident 10 hours later after sobering up and talking to his lawyers. Her parents never received an apology from this fat faced, liberal piss ant coward.

BULLETIN: If anyone has any questions regarding BILLINGSGATE'S true feelings toward these three stooges from Massachusetts, please reread the above.

* John Kerry, Ted Kennedy and Barney Frank