BILLINGSGATE receives Doctorates

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline San Diego and Cayman Islands)

BULLETIN: It is no secret that since the election BILLINGSGATE has been metaphysically stretched to find suitable material for his blog postings. Although there was an overwhelming response to last week's erudite medical article titled, "Rusty Pipes," there has also been a never ending request for me to devote additional time to the extremely popular "Letters to BILLINGSGATE" column. Until now I have felt less than qualified to advise readers regarding medical and personal questions.

That, faithful readers, was yesterday. Unknown even to family and close friends was that BILLINGSGATE was working with the LaFontaine College in the Cayman Islands and recently completed their Potpouri Program that grants a medley of Doctorate Degrees in Medicine and Divinity, Animal Husbandry, Advanced Cloning, a Law Degree, a PhD. in Psychology and Taxidermy and an Associate Degree in Marriage Counseling and Money Laundering. Critical to all this, of course, was the timing. With a requirement to pass comprehensive exams in all areas within 6 weeks, you can imagine the cramming necessary to fulfill these requirements in a timely manner.

And now, since California and the Cayman Islands are both controlled by henchman of the Governator, the establishment of reciprocity between the two governments allows DR. BILLINGSGATE to practice as if licensed in both domains.

BULLETIN: DR. BILLINGSGATE is now taking questions limited to the above fields of knowledge in which he holds degrees. All questions will be treated seriously, although confidentiality cannot be guaranteed. Please keep your questions pithy, but don't allow brevity to supercede the need for voyeuristic content.