STOP THE PRESSES !

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL

STOP THE PRESSES: Breaking away from years of conservative based political philosophy, the New York Times today announced that the paper is endorsing Senator John Kerry for President. Befuddling even veteran political correspondents, even BILLINGSGATE, the Grey Lady shocked the world with its announcement. For a perspective, the last time the NYT endorsed a Democrat for president was way back in 2000 when they stood behind Al Gore in his unsuccessful bid for commander and chief.

Coming on the heels of CBS and its unbiased attempt to smear President Bush, one wonders how many more surprises the Bush team can take before they abandon their present election plan completely. If the inability to sway these two bastions of conservative thought are indicative of a failed or compromised GOP plan, the JOURNAL believes that the over rated political guru, Karl Rove should be replaced before it is too late.

With these standard bearers, these linchpins of journalistic hypocrisy leaning toward Kerry, the JOURNAL'S editorial staff will be meeting with Dr. Cleotus "Clete" Earlbeck in the Galapagos Islands to discuss who the JOURNAL will endorse for president. Although traditionally conservative, an attempt will be made to appear fair and balanced, just like CBS and the NYT.

Does it need to be reiterated that the JOURNAL will not be undercut by its inability to provide facts when attempting to make a point. Of course not! BILLINGSGATE has paid his dues, and like Dan Rather, can stoically stand behind a story because even though the documents were forged, the story can stand on its own feet. Folks, that's Journalism 101.