Letters to BILLINGSGATE

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL

BULLETIN: It is apparent that the "Blessings for Wampum Program" article has created a tempest in a tepee. Some of the letters on that and other subjects:

"BILLINGSGATE speak with forked tongue. Medicine Man never sell blessings for wampum. Bad medicine! Medicine Man trade for Kerry squaw. Long cold winter nights. Kerry squaw need red meat"....Chief Under the Table

Response: Chief, I understand that Kerry's squaw is a helluva cook. You are one shrewd Native American.

"Lone Ranger say white man's way bad. Need more wampum to buy back Manhattan from The Donald. Medicine Man need sell many blessings".....TONTO

Response: It appears that Medicine Man has better plan. Marry rich squaw and cut out the middleman.

"Christopher and I have both benefited from miraculous cures, and we will continue to make appearances for our fans. By the way, I will cast my vote for President Bush".......I ain't nothing but a hound dawg.

Response: Elvis, my man, you have made a wise choice. You obviously make more than $200,000 a year and don't want to be taxed out of business.

"BILLINGSGATE, All you ever talk about seems to revolve around your stupid tortoises. Do you really think we care whether they take the high road or the low road? Or whether they have been doped or not? Don't you have more important issues to discuss?......Teresa Heinz Kerry

Response: Your husband just shot a goose. Do you have any good goose recipes to share with Chief Under the Table?