Muttley Come Home

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline San Diego)


BULLETIN: Most of my devotees are old enough to remember the movie classic, "Lassie Come Home," which starred then youngsters, Roddy McDowall and Elizabeth Taylor and Lassie. It was a tear jerker story about a poor boy's dog, when sold to a rich man, makes an arduous journey back to the original owner. The movie was nominated for an Oscar, but failed to win because Hollywood was then under the control of the Communist Party, and Josef Stalin didn't like dogs because they were considered bourgeois accoutrements.

Anyway, in addition to Lassie getting screwed because of the Commie pinkos distaste for dogs, poor Muttley also got the short end of the bone for his role in "Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machine." As part of the "Vulture Squad" with Zilly and Klunk, Muttley and his crew's mission was to stop the pernicious renegade, Yankee Doodle Pidgeon. Under his boss, Dick Dastardly, Muttley always demanded a medal for following his dimwitted leader's battle plans. Muttley was known for his distinctive passive-aggressive attitude. His classic "yeah, yeah, yeah!" response to any order became recognized by Harvard Business School as the proper way to answer a superior's suggestion. Muttley was also recognized for his laugh and curses. If anyone is interested in hearing these, I suggest they download these classics at: www.hotink.com/wacky/dastrdly.

Reflective devotees may wonder why I am so involved in the injustices done to these fine dogs, especially since we are in Christmas season. My answer is that, if not me, who else would engage the pinkos in this fight for recognizing the deeds of man's best friend? Have you ever seen a dog in Moscow? How about China, where they will only allow one dog and one child per family? What about George McGovern losing the Irish Setter, Upset? Of course, the common denominator is that Stalin, Mao and McGovern were all of the same pinko ilk, dog lovers not.

So while we celebrate the holidays, keep in mind that even in a dog loving nation such as ours, there are forces of evil working 24/7 to deprive us of our constitutional right to own a dog.

God Bless and have a Merry Christmas!

The Doctor cares