BILLINGSGATE BANNED BY RUTHLESS VIXEN !

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline San Diego)

BREAKING BULLETIN: Ann Coulter, the loudmouth blond who is a favorite on Fox News for her in-your-face diatribes with liberal opponents, inexplicably banned Dr. BILLINGSGATE from participating in her chat room discussions.

This past Thursday I was duly authorized to participate in Ms. Coulter's chat room. Since her latest column had lambasted Dubya for being a slacker on enforcing immigration laws and for offering to put the National Guard on the border, I thought that it was appropriate to propose that a moat from San Diego to the eastern border of Texas be constructed as soon as possible. I also proposed that instead of using 6000 National Guard troops to help the Border Patrol, that President Bush federalize 10,000 Florida alligators and immediately deploy these critters to the moat to scare off or eat the illegals attempting to cross the border.

By establishing a network of these hungry gators as the last threshold of defense against the encroaching hoards of illegals, we would not only make Florida safer for those who hide behind their doors, afraid of lurking reptiles, we would also make Florida and the rest of the states safer from those who now laugh at our Border Patrol. By putting more "teeth" in our border defense team, we could control the flow of immigrants or eliminate them entirely.

Not surprisingly, many of Ms. Coulter's chat room participants volunteered other critters to patrol the border moat. Infact, more than 70 responses flowed in with pictures that included sharks, piranhas, rattle snakes, land mines, naked mole rats, and believe it or not, a picture of Helen Thomas. A Frenchman even volunteered his pet gator, Pierre, for this honorable duty.

I thought that I had hit a homerun and that I was among fellow conservatives. Was I surprised when upon revisiting the site on Monday, I was notified that I was banned from the chat room forever. Evidently the rule makers thought I was generating too much sympathy for my cause from their precious chat room comrades.

I would ask my BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL readers who have supported me so well to jump on Ms. Coulter and voice your displeasure to her for having me so summarily dismissed. Her Web Site is: www.anncoulter.com. Tell that obnoxious talking head that by banning BILLINGSGATE, she has lost the heart and soul of conservative America.