CURRICULUM VITAE VALIDATION

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline LaFontaine College)

BULLETIN: From time to time I have had to defend myself from those whom I refer to as "vitally concerned non-entities." Recently one of my readers who happens to be an old friend, and by coincidence, also an undergraduate alumnus of the university from which I matriculated, made mention of the fact that he believes that I may have consciously or otherwise assumed the persona of my alter ego, Dr. BILLINGSGATE.

To address this concern which others may subconsciously hold, I wish to once and for all stop this vicious attack on me and my curriculum vitae. Enough is enough! After withstanding cloning attacks from mad scientists based in South Korea and and Lhasa, Tibet, I thought that I had rid myself of those jealous of my academic achievements. It is almost laughable that someone who graduated from a mid-level, middle-west university, distinguished only by the fact that Dr. BILLINGSGATE once hung his jock there, is now disrespecting LaFontaine College of the Cayman Islands.

A little history regarding LaFontaine College: Founded in 1486 by Jacque LaFontaine, a noble savage of French descent, it began as a one room boiler plate operation, producing diplomas very similar to those issued by the Sorbonne University of Paris which was founded in 13th century by Abelard and where both St. Bonaventure and St. Thomas Aquinas studied. With these impecable credentials, LaFontaine College prospered and became internationally known to sunbathers as an alternative to spending usefull time pursuing academic goals. Even today it has not relinquished its position as a viable aternative to learning and is fully credentialed by the Cayman Islands Bureau of Ecole Standards.

So for someone whose pursuit of knowledge ended when he returned his cap and gown so that some other sucker who spent four years of concentrated plagiarizing and cheating could use it the following year, it seems ironic that this "old friend" would turn on me for scoring eleven Ph.D's from a fully accredited, internationally recognized alternative college.

That said, I will be attaching one of my diplomas for your inspection. And for a very reasonable $19.99 + $10.00 shipping and handling, you may order a Doctorate Diploma of your own.

Please include your name and whatever degree you wish to receive and include your credit card number so that I can ring up your account. You should receive your degree in about 14 working days.

e-mail to: intercal2000@aol.com