National Security Agency vs BILLINGSGATE

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline Washington, DC)

CODE ALPHA: BULLETIN: For those readers who aren't aware of the existence of the National Security Agency and its ability to tap into your phone and internet conversations, let me assure you that Dr. BILLINGSGATE has always been on top of this insidious "eye in the sky" technology. When publishing my JOURNAL, I have always kept in mind the axiom that, "loose lips sink ships." For that reason I have always operated in the CODE ALPHA mode.

For those of you who lack NOTARY SOJAC TOP SECRET clearance or for you who might be marginally subversive, I have always been mindful that what I write might be used to discredit me, or worse than that, leave me open to government interdiction. So, for the many times that you may have scratched your head, wondering what the hell I was talking about, it was really me operating in CODE ALPHA.

To most of my readers who have NSTC clearance and who are able to decode my messages, no explanation is necessary. For those who can't make sense of all this and believe I am nuttier than squirrel poop, for the next 10 days I will be selling the coveted NOTARY SOJAC TOP SECRET decipher kit for the bargain basement rate of $29.99 plus $10.00 for shipping and handling. Please email me your credit card number along with the 3 digit code on the back of the card. Please allow at least 30 days for receipt of kit.

NOTE: The Doctor needs cash and he needs it now. This operation is not the cash cow you might think it is.