LaFontaine College Bans Exotic Dancers

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline Cayman Islands)

BULLETIN: The Board of Governors of LaFontaine College announced that it was barring currently enrolled student from employing exotic dancers unless they are accompanied by at least one voyeuristic professor. This ban goes into effect immediately. The only exception is for half-time periods of the basketball games where it is traditional for everyone to get totally nude with the players and cavort around as if they were savages.

The LaFontaine College nickname is "The Wedgies." Both the men and women teams wear the pants of their uniforms pulled up as high as possible, leaving very little to the imagination as to where their bodies are subdivided. The reason that they all rip their uniforms off at half-time is to allow relief from the nagging stricture of the pants on their private parts.

The team mascot is a cork who dances around trying to plug all the holes during these intermissions. The cork is bisexual and receives no pay for this service, but always seems to have a smile on its face.

If anyone is interested in watching the Wedgies, they play an "exhibition" game against the Duke Blue Devils this next November in Durham. Bring your broomsticks.

Note: If you feel that the DOCTOR has crossed the line, please draw another one.