PLOT TO CLONE BILLINGSGATE SUCCEEDS !

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline Lhasa, Tibet)


DOUBLE BULLETIN! Mystic, martyr, pundit, conservative ideologist, Dr. BILLINGSGATE is all of that and more. Few people are the center of more fascination and yearning than the man once rumored to be a reincarnated homopteran. For years he lived in relative anonymity, once being mistaken for Barry Bonds.

It is ironic that it was Tibetan superstar, the Dalai Lama, who finally was able to clone BILLINGSGATE. For years he has tried to do a genetic duplicate of the only man to have acquired eleven Doctorates without spending a day in class. Now that the good DOCTOR (the clone, that is) roams the corridors of the Potala Palace in Lhasa, Tibet, it is unknown what effect this will have on intellectual growth in a part of the world best known for majestic mountains, mystical meditation and monkish maharishis muttering umbrageous mumbo-jumbo.

Unlike the cheap, knock-off Korean clone of Dr. BILLINGSGATE that was nothing but a docile replicate of the real Doctor, this Tibetan made clone is the real McCoy. Most readers probably remember that the Korean Clone lifted his leg when taking a pee. Pictures show the Tibetan clone relieving himself with both feet off the ground, a peeing tactic only Doctor BILLINGSGATE was able to master. Eventually, with the proliferation of BILLINGSGATE clones reaching pandemic numbers, most everyone will be trying to do this.

HINT: Being able to hover is a prerequisite. So until you master this interesting maneuver, you will undoubtedly trickle on yourself.

OVER and OUT from the DOCTOR.

ps: Was this JOURNAL worth waiting for or not?