A Limerick for the Ages

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline Limerick, Ireland)

BULLETIN: To call this just another limerick would be akin to calling World War II just another war, Secretariat just another horse or the Hope Diamond just another rock. To celebrate the publishing of this new and never before seen limerick, Dr. BILLINGSGATE traveled to the birthplace of the limerick; Limerick, Ireland.

Inspired by the whimsical Irish leprechauns who frequent the pubs and who drink copious amounts of Irish whiskey while mumbling umbrageous limericks of their own, I finally conquered this form of poetry with the following masterpiece. Blending a desultory attempt to link classic iambic pentameter with thoughtless rhyming schemes, the final result is nothing less than stunning:

If Kaczynski had felt somewhat better
He would not have put bombs in his letters
He could have sent a cab for Lewinsky
And maybe scored a quick Blowinsky
Followed by a cigar and phone sex chatter.

NOTE: To follow up on the "Intelligent Design" posting, I would like to point out that the line forms at the rear for you glory hole worshiping, ACLU egg-sucking, American hating, pencil-dick liberal preverts. You are abominations, and you are an insult to the brave soldiers who are fighting to keep your sad asses from being skewered on some raghead's barbecue in Baghdad.

Get with it or get out.