Ask Dr. BILLINGSGATE

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline San Diego)

Dear Dr. BILLINGSGATE,

I have been reading your clever Lewinsky/Kaczynski limericks,
and in behalf of Major League Baseball, I would like to offer this for your baseball fans. I think it might be a home run......Commissioner Bud Sigel

From Tinker to Evers to Chance
We knew the results in advance
With Lewinsky and Kaczynski it was known
That someone was going to be blown
From Clinton to Letters to Chance.

Dear Bud,

Let the fans vote on this one.

Dear Dr. BILLINGSGATE,

Ha, ha. The security at McDonalds stinks. I got one of those new Hillary Clinton Bobblehead vibrators, and I ain't but 59 years old.....Nancy Pelosi

Dear Ms. Pelosi,

Congratulations, you old liberal hedgehog. You have the wrinkles of a woman twice your age. I hope that the vibrator took the edges off your crevices.

Dear Dr. BILLINGSGATE,

Since you blame Hurricane Katrina on the failure of the citizens of New Orleans to recognize the rights of dogs and cats to interbreed during the Lenten Season, what do you blame Hurricane Rita on?.........Dan Rather

Dear Mr. Rather,

I blame Hurricane Rita on the failure of you and your fellow Texans to outlaw dogs and cats from interbreeding during the rest of the year. There's entirely too many liberals running around Texas who look like dogs but scratch like cats.