Kobe Scores 81 Against Raptors

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline Los Angeles)

BULLETIN: As far as coincidences go, the fact that Kobe Bryant scored 81 Points against the Toronto Raptors last night was a doozey. Wasn't it just over a year ago that as a Raper he scored a reverse layup on a young chick who was found out of position, bent over a chair in a Colorado resort hotel? I BEG YOUR PARDON! Am I the only one who connects these events?

Footnote: Although he scored, he was disqualified for using two balls in his effort.

Back to serious sports chatter: Kobe left the floor last night with the fans at the Staples Center screaming, "MVP! MVP!" How soon they forget what Wilt Chamberlain did on March 2, 1962 in Hershey, Pennsylvania, when the Philadelphia Warriors played the New York Knicks. Before a small crowd of 4124 (which incidently is approximately 20% of the number of female basketball fans that he claims he serviced in his earthly career) Wilt scored 100 points in the greatest single performance in NBA history.

Interestingly, a lot of the fans who witnessed this amazing spectacle did not come to see Wilt. In this football stronghold many of them came to see the preliminary game between players from the Philadelphia Eagles and the Baltimore Colts of the NFL. The appearance of such legends as Johnny Unitas, Lenny Moore and Chuck Bednarik squaring off on the maples was of much more interest to these football fanatics than that of a bunch of pencil neck geeks dribbling a ball up and down the court.

Professional basketball was in its infancy back then. This game was not recorded and there is no film to authenticate Wilt's record. Since I was not there, I suppose that I will have to take some sportswriter's word for it happening. Furthermore, there is no record of how many groupies the Big Dipper popped after the game, or for that matter, during the halftime break.

There is an ironic footnote to this semi-historic event. The next evening, the Warriors and Knicks played at Madison Square Garden. Darrall Imhoff, the 6-11 center for the Warriors who had guarded Wilt during his 100 point onslaught, left the floor to a standing ovation because he had held Wilt to a meager 54 points that evening.

NOTE: After pocketing his third consecutive Man of the Year award, the good Doctor went on a sabbatical. While chillin out in the Cayman Islands, he scored yet another leisurely Doctorate at his beloved LaFontaine College. While most of you were shoveling snow and playing indoor fart games, DOCTOR BILLINGSGATE was bettering himself, if that is possible. This, his 11th Doctorate, is in Sports Journalism. You, my fans, may now judge if the effort was worthwhile. Sports may never be the same.