The Ballad of Duke Cunningham

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline San Diego)

BULLETIN: Congressman "Duke" Cunningham has been vilified by those who never had the guts to do what he did; he put his ass on the line for his country each time he flew over Vietnam. He made some major personal mistakes that he is paying for today. But no one is perfect, not even Dr. BILLINGSGATE, who thought the Dukester should be commemorated by this ballad:

THE BALLAD OF DUKE CUNNINGHAM

Duke
Duke

(Chorus)
Call him a cheatin Congressman
He won't answer anymore
Not the F-4 Phantom hero
Not the sailor who went to war

Duke and his backseater cruised the skies of Vietnam
They dodged those Commie SAMs and MiGs
They sent five goomers down

And when the war was over
And when Old Glory raised
Among the men who held it high
Was the Phantom Ace, Duke Cunningham

Call him a cheatin Congressman
He won't answer anymore
Not the F-4 Phantom hero
Not the sailor who went to war

Duke returned a hero
Celebrated throughout the land
He was wined and dined and honored, everybody shook his hand

But he was just an old Phantom pilot
No plane, no stick, no command
At home nobody cared what Duke did
Except the Democrats

Call him a cheatin Congressman
He won't answer anymore
Not the F-4 Phantom pilot
Not the sailor who went to war

Then the Duke started cheatin hard
His yacht was oft his home
They'd let him get some cash
Like you'd throw a dog a bone

He was convicted one mornin
Alone in the land he fought to save
Two hookers in a sunken spa
Became a grave for Cunningham

Call him a cheatin Congressman
He won't answer anymore
Not the F-4 Phantom hero
Not the sailor who went to war

Yeah, call him a cheatin Congressman
But the sky is just as blue
And his ghost is flying thirsty
In the Phantom Duke once flew