Why Liberals Have Chicken Lips

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline San Diego)

CHICKITIN: Anyone who has been a dedicated devotee of the Journal for the past three years or so probably remembers Senator John Kerry being described in these pages as a liberal, slack jawed, chicken-lipped jackal. It is no secret that I despise these vacuous political scum suckers in a way that words cannot fully address. While our military is fighting for our lives and freedom over in Iraq, these pecker-lipped proteans are selling us out for their own political gain.

When you look at the profiles of John Kerry, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Chuck Schumer, John Murtha, Teddy Kennedy and all the rest of the liberal flotsam, has it dawned on you that each of them has a physical characteristic that sets them apart from conservatives? Yes, boys and girls. They all suffer the common affliction of chicken lips (gallus labius). This, I have been assured by Dr. Cleghorn Leghorn, forensic chicken anthropology professor emeritus at LaFontaine College, is the result of cross-breeding Homo sapiens with the common domestic fowl known as the chicken. As you well know, to call someone a chicken is not meant to establish that individual as a ferocious terrier.

If anyone has remaining doubts concerning evolution, the next time you observe a liberal, check out his or her lips.