Supreme Court: She No Ho

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline Washington)

BULLETIN: Breaking a long standing precedent, The United States Supreme Court has decided to issue the following ruling in the form of a limerick. Historically, this has been done only in Scotland back in the 12th Century. Now that the Court is relying on Europe for historical reference in it's decisions, it is not surprising that they should do so in the case of Lewinsky vs Kaczynski. With Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg writing the majority opinion in which she, Justices Stephen Breyer, David Souter, Anthony Kennedy and John Paul Stephens agreed, the following majority decision was made:

We have ruled Lewinsky no ho
Because "is" does not include fellatio
However, we have concluded that
Since Kaczynski's letters went splat
He must serve life in the hoosegow.

The dissenting opinion by Associate Justice Clarence Thomas, writing for Chief Justice William Rehnquist and Associate Justice Antonin Scalia:

We dissenters have agreed this to be true
After arguing until our faces turned blue
The Lewinsky and Kaczynski cases were linked
In both instances there was a dink
Therefore, Monica was a ho, through and through.

Note: Dr. BILLINGSGATE has notified the Solicitor General that he will not publish future Supreme Court decisions unless they are pithily written in acceptable limerick form.