Using Solipsism to Understand Oneself

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline San Diego)

BREAKING NEWS: As part of the process of being the primary source of information for those who unfortunately have to rely on BILLINGSGATE for all of their talking points, I offer a remedial course in the ephemeral art of self deception. Having examined my own "inner self" and finding nothing, it begs the question; is BILLINGSGATE real or merely a meaningless dot in the shifting sands in the desert of nihilistic solipsism?

Understandably, most of you have not examined yourself in this way because you were afraid that you would find nothing. Of course this should bother you to some degree if it were true. And even if it is, the good in finding this out about yourself before anyone else determines it by observing you, far outweighs the fact that you have no meaning or reason to exist.

If you have been able to follow this thinking process, you have possibly reached an area of self examination that has become uncomfortable. Understanding the philosophy of nihilistic solipsism may not ease your consciousness, but if you have a constipation problem, it could provide relief.

In a nutshell, this form of solopsism holds the philosophic view that only the self exists or can be known to exist. Therefore, reality exists only in the mind of the beholder. It specifically denies the existence of an outside world if it is perceived either directly, by involuntary experiences, or indirectly, through vicarious experiences created through communication with aliens from other worlds.

Therefore, if BILLINGSGATE is your only link to a reality that exists only in your own mind, you might consider the futility of your existential status from the viewpoint of a casual observer who, although disinterested, doesn't exist either.

Any questions? Please ask Dr. BILLINGSGATE.