Ask Dr. BILLINGSGATE

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline San Diego)

Dear Dr. BILLINGSGATE,

I read your recent article, "Fox vs Henhouse," and thank you for sticking up for the underchicks. Was it a coincidence that you also spoke of how the liberal wackos are attempting to deprive hard working laying hens of their Easter connection. After all, if it weren't for us, Easter eggs could very well be toast. Also, if you were a defenseless chick like me, would you rather be Teddy Kennedy's girl friend or Michael Schiavo's fiancee?....Henny Penny

Dear Henny Penny,

In probing the vast grey matter area in my cranium that some say separates me from lesser beings, I can only say that I am humbled by the trust you have placed in me.

In answer to your first question: It is never a coincidence when liberal wackos attempt to deprive more than one group of their rights in one day. Why should it be called a coincidence when Dr. BILLINGSGATE chooses to defend underchicks like you from the metaphorical fox while you are also being denied your Easter heritage by the real fox. The ACLU attempts to pass themselves off as the protectorate of our civil liberties. We know what those sly foxes are really up to, don't we?

The answer to the second question is easy. At Chappaquiddick, Senator Kennedy allowed Mary Jo Kopechne some water before she died.

Once again, the Doctor has spoken.