Kim Jung II denies using steroids

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline Pyongyang, North Korea)

Exclusive Report: Kim Jung II, the diminutive Comrade General and President of North Korea, declared under oath that when he shot his improbable score of 34 on a par 72 course back in 1994 he was not using steroids.

In today's issue of the Pyongyang Times, communism's most angry man struck out at Mark McGwire's refusal to admit that he used steroids when he hit 70 homers in 1998 to break the record of Roger Maris. With McGwire refusing to come clean when asked specifically if he ever used steroids, he left the world wondering if he was taking it in the butt during the summer of 98. Kim Jung, who is not exactly a fan of the American life style, evidently saw through the evasive reponses and reportedly was so insensed that he ordered a NO DONG missile to take Big Mac out. After calming down he issued the following statement:

"I don't need no stinkin steroids to shoot a 34," said the Dictator with the Don King hairdo in reference to his world record round. To prove his point, Kim issued the 2 handicap McGwire a challenge to come to North Korea for a match play showdown, with of course, pre and post match drug tests. McGwire, with advice from his attorney, has yet to respond to the challenge.

More to follow..........