HIZBULLAH or HEZBOLLAH

BILLINGSGATE JOURNAL (Dateline Beirut)

BULLETIN: As if we didn't have problems enough, the dispute over the correct spelling of this Iranian sponsored terrorist group has reached a critical level that may supersede even the dispute between the two warring parties, Israel and Palestine. The first inclination that I had that this nomenclature problem might evolve into something really nasty was when I read that Mojtaba Bigdeli was the spokesman for the Iranian Hezbollah (Hizbullah)

My first question is, what kind of parent would name their child, Mojtaba Bigdeli? My reflex thought was that "Bigdeli" was the nickname of a Sicilian Mafioso type, like Sam "Big Sausage" Rigatoni. Bigdeli sounds as infidel to me as a Subway salami 6 incher with the works.

This dispute over the spelling of a name has left the world press spellbound, something akin to the histrionics regarding the proper pronunciation of the word, "to-ma-toe" or "to-mat-o" that occurred in the last century which put New York bluenoses in a tizzy.

Epistemologically speaking, I wonder if the women's restroom doors in Ragheadsville have a picture of a black formless Hezbollah critter, while the men's doors are inscribed with a double humped dromedary Hizbullah. What the hell is a bollah (bullah) anyway. It's this kind of crap that drives me nuts. Maybe it means toilet. Like in "Hez toilet" or "Hiz toilet". You know, like "Frances" or "Francis".

Who gives a rat's ass anymore? The more I think about those Islamic fascist bastards, the more agitated I get. Instead of ranting on about how smart he is, why doesn't Michael Savage address this important question?

I hope that the fatuous liberal journalists who hide behind the heavy doors of the New York Times read this blog. Maybe they can find out what the correct spelling is before I go completely wacko.

Cordially yours,

The Doctor